Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and she was petting her beer can
you didnt know i had herpes?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
