Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
