OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
