this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
