We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
