Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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