so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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