It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
