It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
