ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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