listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
