How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
