She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
operation have a gay friend backfired
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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