I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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