im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
