youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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