from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
