Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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