what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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