i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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