will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we're so committed to being not committed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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