Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
