all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
