there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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