Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
