hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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