The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
