We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
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