First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
