Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
