why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
