I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You did what with his pubic hair?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
