I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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