worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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