her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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