you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
