Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I will be naked everywhere
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
