if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
