If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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