Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
