@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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