I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My feet surprised me
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