So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
