are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
