That's intense
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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