he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
