dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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