Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
