So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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