you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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